I'm gradually beginning to accept the fact that alcohol and I have a pretty dysfunctional relationship. No, not the kind that would necessitate any real concern, but the kind that leads to overeating and self loathing. It took 32 days of booze free living, for me to even consider this notion, and I'm now thinking I may have to just accept it. Over the last year or so I've stopped drinking beer because it makes me feel AWFUL, and really prefer to indulge in a little red wine if I'm going to drink at all. I truly enjoy a glass of wine with dinner because I genuinely like the taste, and the way a good wine enhances a meal. However, if I indulge in more than 1 glass, I inevitably end up over eating and really wanting sweets. There begins a vicious cycle of imbibing in too much wine, overeating, and the hating myself. The next morning I usually feel terrible, not only suffering from bloating or tummy aches, but also experiencing an extreme level of guilt for throwing a wrench in my clean eating efforts.
Last nights events inspired today's post. I met a girlfriend for dinner and drinks after having eaten well all day, 100% Paleo accept for some goat cheese that I added to my salad at lunch. We split a couple appetizers which included chicken and beef skewers, seared ahi, and brussels sprouts. I had 2 glasses of cabernet and about 4 glasses of water. Really not to bad huh? Well, then I got home and was dying for something sweet. I ended up having a bite of a Larabar and throwing it away, then some cashew butter, then some carob chips, and finally one of my paleo bars. It was an out of body experience and by the time it was over I felt so sick I was ready to puke. This morning I woke and was so mad at myself, because I completely lost control last night. Seems to me, that red wine, though delightful, is totally not worth the grief. I'm attempting to be compassionate towards myself, but after having had such a great month and making significant progress towards to wellness goals, I'm annoyed to say the least.
All I can do at this point is accept the fact that I'm not perfect and move on. If this had happened to one of my patients/clients I would have told them to give themselves a break and move forward. I guess I should take a little of my own advice. So today I've eaten a quality Paleo friendly breakfast, and I'm really looking forward to CrossFit tonight. I know this week will challenge me, as we are celebrating Valentine's day, Chad's Birthday, and 3 years together. Checking in here, is the best way I can think to keep myself accountable, so that is my plan. Next week I want to revisit my goals and strategize for the upcoming month. I still want that six-pack!
Today's WOD:
WARM UP-
Walking Lunges
Walking knee hugs
Walking ankle grabs
High Knees
Heel Ups
Rotating Lateral Lunge
Shuffle
Karaoke
Karaoke w/ high knee lift
Samson Stretch
Max Pushups in 1 minute at the conclusion
SKILL: DUMBELL SNATCH
WOD: OUR FIRST “HERO WORKOUT” THE LUMBER JACK 20 (SEE BELOW FOR THE STORY)
20 DEADLIFTS Rx (275 lbs.) (185 lbs.)
20 KB SWINGS AMERICAN Rx (72 lbs.) (40 lbs.)
20 OVERHEAD SQUATS Rx (115lbs.) (85 lbs.)
20 BURPEES
20 PULL UPS
20 BOX JUMPS 24 INCH BOX
20 DB SNATCHES Rx 45 lbs. 25 lbs.
*10 JINGLE JANGLES IN BETWEEN EACH EXERCISE*
You're right- give yourself a break :) that is what you tell me and you are right. It's funny your post is very similar to the one I just wrote!! Sometimes self compassion is the hardest kind.
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